Your rationale is that life will begin once you win the lottery so you’ve invested yourself in the fantasy. When people tell you you should come out, do something different, not play the numbers this week, you decline because you’re scared that the one time that you don’t is the one time that you’ll win. It’s like buying a lottery ticket every Wednesday and Saturday and waiting in week after week for your numbers to come up. If you’ve been living your life in limbo waiting around, you’re breaking a fundamental personal boundary that will erode at your self-esteem. Here’s the thing: Waiting around for someone to make up their mind about you, to dignify you with contact, a relationship, decency, a change of self or whatever, devalues you. “I’m waiting for you to spontaneously combust into being available/commitment ready/a better person/to leave your spouse or partner”.Īnd in particular “I know you think you can do better, but when you find out that you can’t, I’m here waiting for you”. “I’ll be right here waiting for you if you ever decide you want me” “I’m waiting for you to make up your mind about me” It’s very irritating and yet I realise that like many people, in the past I’ve been trapped in a holding pattern waiting around for that slot to open up so I can take up what I feel is my rightful spot in the relationship I envision.Įvery day I read comments, emails and Facebook postings that are code for: A few months ago, I spent 45 very long minutes circling over Heathrow airport waiting for a slot to open up so that we could land.
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